A battle lost

It is with profound sadness that I say goodbye to a dear friend. Dino lost his battle with cancer Monday night at about 8:45. He was surrounded by family and friends. I arrived at the hospital 10 minutes too late. While every one's first reaction has been "I'm so sorry you missed him", his family (and I'm not even sure how yet) knew I was coming. His soon to be sister in law, Amber met me in the hallway and asked "are you Andi - he knew you were coming. You were the last one". His dad indicated the same thing. As if Dino was waiting until I was near before he could end this journey, and move on to the next. I'll never know if this is true, of course, but it brings me some peace - thinking that he was waiting for me. I was able to hold his hand, tell him I love him, and how much he will be missed. I promised him that through stories, my children will know him, and that he was just too big for this world. Why is it that we don't say these heartfelt things to people we love while we have the chance. I am going to change that.
I'm deeply saddened. I am unable to sleep, and I'm a little zombie-like at the moment. I wonder how to go on from here. I imagine that most of you probably knew this news already, either from Dino's blog or his mom's email. If you didn't know Dino, please go to his blog: http://www.dinosjourney.blogspot.com/ and read his dad's entry "I'll know what to say" and read the 41 comments from friends. You'll know him a little better. It's made me cry every time, but I love to read other people's experiences with him. He was such a great person - also one who would drive you crazy, but in a good way. Every time I had a question about ANYTHING, I call Dino, whether it's a song lyric that I don't know, or a sports questions. That guy was like my personal Wikipedia!
I have every intention of running this marathon...for me...for Dino...for Dino's family. I am not sure what happens to all of his medical bills at this time, but I am still going to send every cent raised to his family. Sadly this has become a true "memorial fund". Please read my entry "money money money" for details.
For now, I feel like something is crushing the breath from my chest. I have to learn how to breathe again. There is pain with every inhalation, but that will pass in time - I know. I will remember him always, and miss him daily. He was a friend, a brother, a confidant, and a fighter. My life will not be the same - ever! I will pray for him, I will pray for his family, and his circle of friends. If you are reading this, could you do the same? I wouldn't mind a prayer myself - perhaps for strength? I would appreciate it. I don't expect people to post comments, but I would love to read them if you do.
Love to all - do it for Dino!
God Bless
Andi